I do not know how many of you know what the phrase in my feelings or in her feelings if you are talking about someone else, but it refuges to a special kind of moodiness. If you are in your feelings you can be sad, depressed, jealous, anxious, mad, disappointed, frustrated, just any form of general irritation and or negative emotions that may be felt singularly or you may have a few all at one time rotating. I have been in my feelings for over a week, and it is getting to the point where I am not always good company. It does not take much to make me mad when I am like this. Today I am ready to pick one person up and hit everyone else with them. I hate it when first one then another person gets on my nerves in a row.
In the past week I have felt depressed, jealous, pushed out, neglected, and now today I have a new one I am feeling very insecure. Something happened today that set off all my alarms. It was just a passing remark made in a chat area of a game room, but everything in me screams danger danger. I get these feelings sometimes and I know what triggers them. It is past life experiences intruding on present time, and a healthy dose of de ja vu.
My mom had an expression for the feelings I am having now feelings of bad things to come. She said I would borrow trouble because I would worry about things happening that had not yet. I would tell her I just like to have a plan for when bad things happen. The ironic thing is 90% of what I worry about happening does. I get upset and hurt very easy and even though I probably do not have the right to feel some of the feelings I am lately I still feel them. Maybe I am being childish and maybe I am not maybe I am being a realist. When you have seen things happen in the past more then once is it really that far fetched to think if you saw something similar to a past event happening again why is it so far off to think it will again? I guess I am just an emotional mess lately, but that is going to change one way or another.
